Timothy Bowman

I have been attending PTC since I was around 3 years old. In my preteens and early teens I went through a process of rejecting Christianity, Christians and finally fully rejecting God. Although I continued attending throughout my teen years.

Throughout the years of searching and challenging what was presented, many prayed faithfully for me, but the four most faithful prayer warriors and influences in my life were my Grandma, my Mom and my two sisters. Throughout my years of vicious hatred toward God, Christianity and Christians, many people from the church, and especially my loving family, continued to demonstrate the grace, forgiveness, patience and Love of Christ to me daily. They engaged with me where I was at in my relationship with God.

Although I saw myself as not having any relationship with God and thought I would never become a Christian ever again, they could see beyond the present to who God saw me as and who He designed me to be. They affirmed the true identity Christ had given me, even though I had yet to walk in it.

Because Mom knew who I was in God's eyes, it came as no surprise to her in her personal prayer time when God told her I was about to get saved and she needed to buy me a Bible. When she wrangled me into choosing a new Bible, she was overjoyed that I “finally have a Bible you’ll actually read”. I swore I would never read it, and at first I didn’t, but when I finally cracked it open, I began reading in the Psalms. It felt safe: I enjoy poetry, I was sure it wasn’t David’s “fault” that his poetry had been appropriated.

As I started reading, a hunger that had so long laid dormant began to come to the surface. Each night I would spend more and more time reading in the Psalms, as it both satisfied that hunger, and stirred up more hunger for the Word. Things came to a head one night as I was reading Psalm 51. “The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit: a broken and a contrite heart, O God, thou wilt not despise.”

God gave me a picture that night of my desperate and futile attempts to make myself into a good person, like a small child with a broken vase, trying to glue the pieces together, but every time God tried to sweep away the broken glass, I would grasp, digging the glass into my hands. It was so clear, He was telling me, “Timothy, I want to take the broken pieces of your spirit away, and pull the glass from your hands, it will hurt, but I will clean and bandage your hands. Then after I have taken away your broken vase, your broken spirit, I will give a new vase that you can’t break, a diamond vase: My Spirit within you.”

It was the most beautiful thing I had ever heard, but I still didn’t think He was there. I knew I was broken and couldn’t fix myself, but I thought it would do me no good to give my brokenness to God, because He didn’t exist. Over the next days or weeks, Psalm 51:17 kept ringing in my ear “The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit: a broken and a contrite heart, O God, thou wilt not despise.”

Finally, one night as I was reading Psalms, a thought started hounding me: “GO READ IN THE GOSPELS” I tried to dismiss the thought. “I don’t want to read the Gospels. I want nothing to do with it!” But the thought wouldn’t leave me alone, so eventually I flipped to one of the crucifixion accounts. I don’t remember how many verses I read, but I do remember the floodgates opening, and finally seeing the cross for what it really meant:

God, infinite, perfect, creator of the universe, humbled Himself into human form. He lived perfectly, loved, healed, fed and taught people. And at the end of it all, we tortured and killed Him, and He let us, WHY?? “I did this so I could give you that diamond vase, My Spirit within you.” I still couldn’t believe, but in desperation I offered God a challenge: “You can have my broken spirit, you can have my life.” I discovered that night that He really is there, and He really does care. He took and transformed my broken life.

Since the LORD saved me, I have been actively involved in discipleship, evangelism and outreach, both within the church and in the community at large. In every arena of life, my aim is to walk in close intimacy with my Lord, that I may be sensitive to His leading and be an aroma of the salvation found in Christ. I have a passion for the Word of God and am always eager to share the Word with any and all.

My deep desire and driving motivation in getting involved in leadership at PTC is the same desire I have had since I first believed: to see people both within the church and outside the church touched by the gentle and tender compassion of Jesus. My heart sings with delight each time a person understands the forgiveness and grace of Christ. To see people set free from the weight of guilt and shame, of striving to prove themselves to God or to others.

God is not looking for us to prove ourselves with sacrifices and good works. The only gift God is asking us for is our brokenness. He is eager to take our broken pieces and give us the priceless gift of friendship with Him!